Stickman Cinema Favorites: The Last Dragon

The Last Dragon

(1985)

Everyone has one of these.  That one movie you've seen a hundred times, never get tired of watching, can quote from beginning to end and yet you can't really explain why.  That movie for me, hands down, is Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon.

For all intents and purposes, this movie shouldn't even exist.  I mean, it's the story of Leroy Green, a soft spoken Kung-Fu master from Harlem who meets and falls in love with Laura Charles, a famous Video DJ show host.  He repeatedly saves her from Eddie Arkadian (yes, that's his name), a ruthless producer who tries to get Laura to play his latest (and godawful) video on her show by any means necessary.  All the while, Leroy is being pursued by his arch-rival, Sho'nuff (yep, also his name), who is determined to prove once and for all "who is da mastah!"  This all results in a glorious jumble of break dancing, martial arts fighting and bad acting.

It's like a parody, except it's not.  You sit there watching these characters thinking "they CAN'T be serious", but that's what makes them so memorable.  Each one is just such an exaggerated caricature.  Leroy, an African-American talking and acting like an Asian stereotype.  Laura, a diva with her hair teased to within an inch of it's life.  Arkadian, the typical villain who could only be more diabolical if he were twirling his mustache.  But none are bigger, badder and more memorable than the Shogun of Harlem himself, Sho'nuff.  Played by the late Julius J. Carry, he absolutely steals every scene he's in with his over the top antics and quotes that can still be heard today ("Kiss my Converse!").  And all this is without even going into Leroy's leather pants wearing brother Richie, the ditzy Madonna wannabe Angela, Leroy's comic relief / right hand man Johnny, and the rest of the colorful cast of characters that make this movie such a product of it's time.  This movie could not exist in any other decade but the 80's, and that's part of what makes it so charming.  Like Saturday Night Fever, it ends up being a time capsule for a particular era.

The outfits are ludicrous, the dialogue is hilariously corny, and the soundtrack is 80's-tastic.  But damn it if I don't smile watching every ridiculous minute of this movie (and bonus points if you can spot the before-they-were-stars cameos by future Oscar nominees William H. Macy and Chazz Palminteri).  Now can we get a Blu-Ray version already!