The DVD Aisle: Premiere Edition

by: Stickman
 
Hello everyone, and welcome to the first installment of "The DVD Aisle" here on the blog.  Like a lot of people, whenever I have some downtime at night or on the weekend I like to kick back and check out a couple of dvd's I picked up from blockbuster, netflix, wherever.  With this regular feature, I'll take a look at some recently released flicks that might be worth a look.  There be some straight-to-dvd gems out there, and I aims to discover 'em.  And of course, if you got any hidden gems of your own, post 'em on the "Stickman Cinema" facebook page at the link to the right.  And here...we...go.


Tekken

Let's face it, movies based on video games usually tend to suck (I'd list some of them on here, but I openly weep just thinking about some of those atrocities).  But a movie version of a popular fighting game that actually FOCUSES ON THE FIGHTING (looking at you Street Fighter) could turn out to be a guilty pleasure.  Worth a look if you're a fan of the game or just want your highly stylized martial arts fix.
 
Hobo with a Shotgun

If those four words I typed above aren't enough to get you to run out and rent this movie IMMEDIATELY, then dammit I'm at a loss.  Fine, if you want details: It has Rutger Hauer as the title hobo dishing out tons of bloody, vigilante justice with a hooker as a sidekick.  Whoever thought of this flick should be given the Nobel Prize.

Sweatshop

There are basically two types of horror flicks filling the market these days: the creepy supernatural kind that aim for spooks, or that of the "killer on the loose" splatter-fest variety.  This one falls into the latter.  A group of party seekers aim to throw a rave at an abandoned steel mill, but get their plans ruined by the giant dude with the welder's mask and a really, really big hammer who happens to live there.  If buckets of gore is your thing, look no further.

The Entitled

I'm a big fan of thrillers, so this one is right up my alley.  A trio of would be kidnappers abduct three privileged twentysomethings in hopes of getting a million bucks a piece out of their wealthy dads.  A nice setup that promises not everything is what it seems.  Plus it has Ray Liotta and Victor Garber, two very capable actors, playing the dads.  Give it a go.

Lion King 1 1/2

Ok, so I'm cheating a little bit being as this was released back in 2004.  But with the original Lion King getting the 3D treatment (and the blu ray treatment soon to follow), I thought this funny little flick deserved some mention.  It goes through the events of the first film through the point of view of Timon and Pumbaa.  It's a whole lot funnier than you would think.  Great for a family night rental.


That's a wrap for this edition.  'Till next time, happy hunting!  

The RE's

by: The Man in the Cheapseats

In this day and age of booming box office numbers, billion dollar profits, and international fan fare you would assume that the creative end of Hollywood is at an all time high. That in today's market, us as movie goers, must be getting the crème de la crème of creative ideas in what we see. But in reality we are getting quite the contrary. In today’s Hollywood, outside of indies where all the originality usually seems to lie, movies like The Matrix, or Inception, or Dark City are a rarity. What we as fans get from H-Wood is not a plethora of original ideas, oh no no no, what we get are the movies termed (or as I like to term them) the RE-Movies. You all know, those lovely marketing phrases like Re-Boot, Re-Make, Re-Tooled, Re-Do, and (my personal favorite) Re-Imagining. Also let’s not forget, Prequels, which has the RE in it as well. Oh you clever marketing so and so’s trying to get one by us with your fancy phrases.

See the thing about it that’s frustrating to a fan like me, and call me an old fashioned homer of my favorites, I can't stand this stuff. For a billion dollar industry that can really pick and choose the most artistic and creative minds in the world to come up with fresh and interesting ideas, the best thing they can come up with is taking someone else’s good idea from decades past, or from a foreign country, or giving old sit-coms the movie treatment. I mean did we really need a Brady Bunch movie? Let alone a sequel? Really? REALLY? (also let me thank the gods for sending the proposed Dallas movie that was in the works to development hell. Thank you movie gods, thank you). Now I can easily throw comic book movies into the pile of stealing others ideas but really chances are the people reading this are like me, a total fanboy nerd, and are happy those great stories got to see the light of day to a wide audience, that they deserved. Though, they can be lumped in with my point of fresh ideas lacking in today’s Hollywood.

I’m a product of the 80’s where movies were over the top, corny, colorful yet down right fun and original. Classics like Alien, Predator, Legend, The Dark Crystals, just out there fun stuff. You just rarely see movies like this any more where you watch them twenty years later and they stand the test of time. As a fan it bothers me to see classics “re-imagined” when it’s not necessary. As a fan I feel it does an injustice to the work the people who went out there and took a chance with something new, and made it great, to just do it over with whoever is the it guy/girl of the moment. It’s as if they are re-writing the history of something I loved for new generations who will never know how awesome the original was. It's disappointing that a new generation won’t know 21 Jump Street as the launching board for Johnny Depp's career. They will know it as the funny movie with Jonah Hill and (it guy of the moment extraordinaire) Channing Tatum. It’s a damn shame that they won't know Footloose made us discover Kevin Bacon, but know some retched overhaul with Kenny Wormald (who?!?).

For the few remakes/re-do’s/re-imaginings done by actual fans that do there best to try and keep it to its core, I shall give those a pass. You are doing it from the heart of a fan. But I recently read Bloodsport is going to be RE’d. Now this was a Freddy Krueger like slash across my heart, because this is my favorite martial arts movie EVER! And a launching board for one Mr. Jean Claude Van Damme (I mean is there anything better then a JCVD spin kick to Chong Li?). To read that it's not going to be similar to the tournament greatness of the original but some all new “concept” with the Bloodsport name slapped on it made me almost seizure with fear and anger. How dare they?!?! But then I remembered it's Hollywood and it's all about the mighty dollar and my meager movie morals and hopes do not matter.

So here is a call to all fans to just pray to the movie gods. Pray that the movie gods will make these Hollywood moguls leave our beloved classics alone and come up with this generation’s version of Bloodsport, Aliens and Predator. And if they can't leave them alone then put the right directors, writers, producers and stars behind it, that care and want to honor how awesome the originals were (not the Channing Tatum it boys of today). Please movie gods spare a poor fanboy's soul from the carnage evil Hollywood has run on our favorites and its terrible RE’s. Let them not ruin a classic like Point Break with a RE, let it be damned and go to development Hades. Don’t let them put baby (fanboys) in the corner! *Movie genuflects, then has seizure as I think about a possible remake Escape from New York*.

Best Laid Plans

by: Stickman

Did you ever sit down in a movie theater, look around and see a bunch of empty seats?  And not like on a Tuesday afternoon, either.  I'm talking Friday/Saturday night "damn, did I walk into the wrong theater" type of empty? That right there is a movie studio's worst nightmare.  See, movie studios are like The Weather Channel: they live and die by predictions.  Funny thing about predictions though...sometimes they just don't pan out.


Frankly, that's putting it mildly.  A more accurate way to put it would be something like: sometimes those predictions can cause the equivalent of running maniacally towards a couple hundred million dollars with a pipe bomb in your hand and lighting it up like the 4th of July.  The truth is there is no formula for creating a blockbuster.  X + Y = $$$ ...it just doesn't exist.  Public response is funny like that.  Take a look at this past summer, for example.  Superhero movies are all the rage these days (much to my delight!), so naturally Warner Brothers was looking to bank big on Green Lantern.  They bet $200 million on this flick becoming their next big franchise (being that Harry Potter was hanging up his wand after making a bajillion dollars).  The result?  Everyone pretty much shrugged their shoulders, waited two weeks, and went and saw Transformers instead...which proceeded to wipe the floor with it.  That's not a huge surprise, mind you.  But I'm sure everyone involved with Green Lantern was hoping it'd put up a better fight.  Or at least make more money than Rango (it didn't), or The Smurfs (nope), or friggin' Bridesmaids (not even close).  Now on the flip side of the coin, take a movie like The Help.  Modest flick made for about the same amount of money Green Lantern probably spent on catering, but it was the #1 flick in the country for three straight weeks.  Oh, and it passed Green Lantern's total about two weeks ago.  Burn.


Now, a point can be made that quality plays a part in all this.  After all, The Help was given high marks and good word of mouth by critics and fans alike.  Green Lantern...not so much (my niece and I saw it, and dug it...but even I know we're in the minority).  Quality, however, doesn't always create cash.  I mentioned how Transformers cleaned up at the box office, but those flicks have never been regarded as stellar examples of film making.  I mean, I enjoy them as much as the next action-loving movie fan, but they're basically a lesson on product placement and how to blow things up for 2 1/2 hours.  What is generally regarded as a great film does not always translate into great returns.  And this doesn't just apply to the summer season.  October is a month that usually gets flooded with horror movies ('cause of, y'know, that whole Halloween thing).  Last October, Paranormal Activity 2 and Saw 3D both came out and did really well, while Let Me In, easily the best horror movie of the bunch in my opinion, barely made a dime.  A lot of great movies have struggled to make a buck while other (insert unfavorable adjective here) movies have gone on to earn the gross national product of a small country.  It happens.  And it's because quality is subjective.  Taste varies from person to person.  Not everyone likes Gone with the Wind.  Not everyone hates Howard the Duck.  Hell, I proudly consider The Last Dragon one of my all time favorite flicks (and damn you all for laughing).  Different strokes for different folks.


That's the way it goes in the movie biz.  Sometimes they catch lightning in a bottle, and sometimes they end up crispier than a bucket of KFC. Hollywood has yet to figure out a fail-safe way to make a movie that will be both a commercial and critical success, and I doubt they ever will.  Well...except for that Potter kid.  He can buy and sell my ass. 

The Beginning...

Hello everyone, and welcome to my movie blog.  If you are taking the time to read this, I thank you.  This is something I've been meaning to kick-start for a while now, so I hope you'll get as much enjoyment reading these posts as I will bringing them to you.  Movies are something I've always had a passion for and this blog will be an extension of that.  So, without any further ado, let's start the show.....  *cue 20th Century Fox theme music*