Best Laid Plans

by: Stickman

Did you ever sit down in a movie theater, look around and see a bunch of empty seats?  And not like on a Tuesday afternoon, either.  I'm talking Friday/Saturday night "damn, did I walk into the wrong theater" type of empty? That right there is a movie studio's worst nightmare.  See, movie studios are like The Weather Channel: they live and die by predictions.  Funny thing about predictions though...sometimes they just don't pan out.


Frankly, that's putting it mildly.  A more accurate way to put it would be something like: sometimes those predictions can cause the equivalent of running maniacally towards a couple hundred million dollars with a pipe bomb in your hand and lighting it up like the 4th of July.  The truth is there is no formula for creating a blockbuster.  X + Y = $$$ ...it just doesn't exist.  Public response is funny like that.  Take a look at this past summer, for example.  Superhero movies are all the rage these days (much to my delight!), so naturally Warner Brothers was looking to bank big on Green Lantern.  They bet $200 million on this flick becoming their next big franchise (being that Harry Potter was hanging up his wand after making a bajillion dollars).  The result?  Everyone pretty much shrugged their shoulders, waited two weeks, and went and saw Transformers instead...which proceeded to wipe the floor with it.  That's not a huge surprise, mind you.  But I'm sure everyone involved with Green Lantern was hoping it'd put up a better fight.  Or at least make more money than Rango (it didn't), or The Smurfs (nope), or friggin' Bridesmaids (not even close).  Now on the flip side of the coin, take a movie like The Help.  Modest flick made for about the same amount of money Green Lantern probably spent on catering, but it was the #1 flick in the country for three straight weeks.  Oh, and it passed Green Lantern's total about two weeks ago.  Burn.


Now, a point can be made that quality plays a part in all this.  After all, The Help was given high marks and good word of mouth by critics and fans alike.  Green Lantern...not so much (my niece and I saw it, and dug it...but even I know we're in the minority).  Quality, however, doesn't always create cash.  I mentioned how Transformers cleaned up at the box office, but those flicks have never been regarded as stellar examples of film making.  I mean, I enjoy them as much as the next action-loving movie fan, but they're basically a lesson on product placement and how to blow things up for 2 1/2 hours.  What is generally regarded as a great film does not always translate into great returns.  And this doesn't just apply to the summer season.  October is a month that usually gets flooded with horror movies ('cause of, y'know, that whole Halloween thing).  Last October, Paranormal Activity 2 and Saw 3D both came out and did really well, while Let Me In, easily the best horror movie of the bunch in my opinion, barely made a dime.  A lot of great movies have struggled to make a buck while other (insert unfavorable adjective here) movies have gone on to earn the gross national product of a small country.  It happens.  And it's because quality is subjective.  Taste varies from person to person.  Not everyone likes Gone with the Wind.  Not everyone hates Howard the Duck.  Hell, I proudly consider The Last Dragon one of my all time favorite flicks (and damn you all for laughing).  Different strokes for different folks.


That's the way it goes in the movie biz.  Sometimes they catch lightning in a bottle, and sometimes they end up crispier than a bucket of KFC. Hollywood has yet to figure out a fail-safe way to make a movie that will be both a commercial and critical success, and I doubt they ever will.  Well...except for that Potter kid.  He can buy and sell my ass.